She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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