she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
