Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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