Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
