i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
