Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
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how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
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You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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