I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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