I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
