Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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