Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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