Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
