break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
