Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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