my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
