Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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