Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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