Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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