A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
The air taste purple.
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