you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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