As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
