Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My pussy is not your playground.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
