i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
