oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
