I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
