Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize