so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
