Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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