I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
