my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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