tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
