if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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