I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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