Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
