he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
sex in a hospital.. check
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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