not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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