Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
