i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
