We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
