looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
