We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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