I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
