What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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