I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
