Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize