Your tits are I can't wait for
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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