My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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