Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
