She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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