I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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