No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
