so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
