We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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