He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They took my balls.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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