do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
