its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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