I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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