you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
