No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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