Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
