Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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